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    Last week was exam week, which was also the busiest week ever since the semester began. My friends’ exam week only lasted for 7 days, but my mid-term exam period lasted for 21 days. Long-term stressful and nervous conditions make my daily life completely upside down. I used to go to bed around 12a.m.-1a.m after 3-4 hours of regular studying. However, due to the overwhelming workload of this week, I delayed the time of going to bed to around 3a.m every night, and I can’t even be able to fall asleep peacefully as the content of my studying kept popping up inside my brain after I turned off the light and lay down. It felt like time-travelling back to my high school period when I was preparing for my entry exam.

    I found a nice café near the school which closes at 1a.m. I felt a sense of belonging to that place out of its late-closing time and wonderful environment. The atmosphere there was less intense but as quiet as the library, it offered a suitable place for a person like me who doesn’t like that environment with over-panicky air. Although I seemed to find a place where I like a lot, it didn’t stop me from mentally breaking down.

    I am an extremely anxious person, even a little bit of stress can drive me nearly unable to breathe. (Having low stress resistance is always a weakness of mine, I am working on it tho.) Otherwise, why did I name my journal in that title? Mental breakdown is kind of a part of my exam preparation routine, it isn’t a must, but it just happens every time when there is an exam coming. Have you ever felt like you are an old and broken vehicle being abandoned by the crowdless road at 3a.m., and no one is going to drag you out of there. It is how I feel whenever my studying time starts to get longer than 5 hours. Even though I don’t want to admit it, I cry a lot over studying, grades and results, which actually none of it can identify who I am.  

    I remembered last week, it was a Saturday when people should call it a resting day. I sat in front of the writing desk in the cafe until midnight when there were not many customers left already. I was sitting next to a girl who possibly was majoring in Education, words and phrases started to become blurry in my sight, then a drop fell down from my eyes. I don’t even know why I am crying, and why I was so desperate, but I just felt hopeless for everything ( which is absolutely over-reacting as I am throwing back to last week now.) 

    Fortunately, I survived last week, and will soon be relieved from the hell of pressure. By the way, I look at cute animal pictuces and GIFS to release a bit from dyspnea out of stress, and I am sharing some of those here! :) Hope they can also be your savior if you are having a not-very-good day.